Where do I start?

1 John 1:9

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Start over. This word is commonly used when you; transfer to a new neighborhood, school, work, or even at the start of a new year. The worst scenario you might use this is when you end up a relationship with someone. The only question here is where do you start?

As for me, I used this word when I renewed my faith. When I became a Christian. I think it was about 3 months ago, on my birthday, when I said to myself, "What to do in life when your 23?". During that time, I was just recovering from a deep period of depression. I was so lost. I felt like I hit rock bottom. I did not know what true happiness means. I was constantly looking for something that I did not know. In short, something was missing in my life but I don't know what it is. But thanks to a friend of mine, I was saved.

However, the process of change is not easy. I'm not pertaining to religious practices or procedures required in becoming a Christian because there's no such thing. It's more on the internal change. A change of heart. And up to this day, this is my struggle.

As said in Matthew 15:19:

"For out of the heart comes evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, and slander"

The heart is the root of sin. It all begins in the heart. So if we really want to start over, we should start from the heart. However, this change of heart can't be accomplished by our actions alone. In fact, we can't. It's the work of the Holy Spirit. Only the Holy Spirit can change our hearts. All other actions on our part are just plain useless.

And I'm guilty of this. I'm trying to change myself on my own. Take note of the word used, "on my own". I'm avoiding temptation so I won't sin. In other words, sin management. That's why instead of turning away from temptation and from my old ways and habits, I just end up doing it all over again. Because I trust in my own strength. And I'm just tired of this cycle. I don't want to start over and over. Once is more than enough.

What I fail to realize is that Christ had already payed for my sins when He died on the Cross. And If I really did accept Jesus Christ as my Savior and Redeemer, what's holding me back in fully accepting God's grace and mercy? Why can't I finally turn away from my old self and live a new life for Him? Am I just ignoring the Holy Spirit? Or maybe, it's the feeling of stubbornness and unworthiness.

This is where 1 John 1:9 gives us assurance.

All of us are unworthy. All of us are sinners. And we can't change this. This is the reason why God sent His Son in the first place. To pay the price that we can't afford to pay on our own. What we can do is to repent and ask for forgiveness. And the most important thing is to accept Jesus Christ, because it is only through Him that we can truly be forgiven. Only then can the Holy Spirit work in us. We should not pity ourselves because we can't seem to do what's right. Instead of wasting time contemplating on what you have done wrong, do what's right and pleasurable to God with the help of the Holy Spirit. So where do you need to start? I know now. Start with the heart.

Reflect on this: Have you ever felt that you've done nothing right though you always exert effort? Are you doing the best "you" can to avoid temptation and sin? If yes, have you considered calling out to the Lord and the Holy Spirit to help you rather than doing it on your own?

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the assurance of 1 John 1:9. You never guaranteed to us to not sin again. But you offered us forgiveness and mercy, given that we ask for it.

Thank you for the faithfulness though we are unworthy. We give thanks to you for cleansing us of our sins through Jesus Christ. We pray that the Holy Spirit take control of our actions as we submit our lives to you.

We put our faith in you Oh Lord. For in you, we are guaranteed to start over a new life. All praise be to You. Amen.


Note: My inspiration in creating this blog for daily reflections is Mr. Mark D. Roberts. I've used the format from his page in order for this blog to be as simple as possible. http://www.thehighcalling.org/users/mark-d-roberts